If you have ever experienced the sting of being on the receiving end of someone’s lack of appreciation, then you already have a good idea of the importance of gratitude. You may already be trying to live with a generally grateful attitude and finding that it’s just not having the impact you expected. So, how can you really demonstrate that you are grateful?
The key to expressing gratitude is actively seeking out ways to show it in your daily life. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that a “generally grateful attitude” is good enough. Your brain is geared to take the route of least resistance and will easily slip back into a mode in which you fail to acknowledge your blessings. Active gratitude is the key.
As gratitude has become a buzzword in recent years, so has the term “an attitude of gratitude,” but is having a generalized attitude of gratitude really good enough? How can you express how grateful you are, and what benefits can you reap from doing so?
How Do I Actively Show Gratitude?
While we may think it is sufficient to just have an overarching feeling of gratitude in your life, that really doesn’t cut it if you are looking to live a truly grateful life. Showing gratitude has to be intentional,but as we teach ourselves ways to display gratitude, it will also become far easier to do so naturally.
On this journey, you will also uncover a few surprising and advantageous benefits along the way.
| 7 Scientifically Proven Benefits of Gratitude | |
| 1. | Gratitude opens up opportunities for new and stronger relationships. |
| 2. | Gratitude improves physical health and reduces health difficulties. |
| 3. | Gratitude improves mental health and reduces depression and anxiety. |
| 4. | Gratitude increases empathy and reduces aggression. |
| 5. | Gratitude reduces insomnia and improves quality of sleep. |
| 6. | Gratitude improves self-esteem and makes us more confident. |
| 7. | Gratitude improves mental strength and resilience. |
Living your life in a state of gratitude rather than a constant feeling of inadequacy is a choice. It doesn’t rely on some mystical gift from the Universe, and you are not born grateful. Being grateful is something we choose to be (or not to be) each and every day.
9 Ways to Actively Show You Are Grateful
Showing gratitude is far easier than you may think and a simple “thank you” is a good start. For most of us, thanking people is automatic, but going further takes effort. These nine ways to show you are grateful are powerful methods of truly ingraining a grateful attitude in your daily life, which can have surprisingly positive domino effects.
1. Keep a gratitude journal
Whether you choose to use a handwritten, beautifully-covered journal or one in digital format, a journal will help you to record the reasons for your gratitude and remind you how lucky you are in times of need. You can also use your gratitude journal in conjunction with a vision board to remind you of how far you have come.
2. Write letters
Most people don’t write letters anymore and that is one of the reasons it is such a great and unexpected way to express your thanks. Anyone can knock out a text message, but a carefully written and crafted letter of thanks will really hit home for you and the recipient.
3. Serve others
There is no more powerful way of both understanding how blessed you are and showing your gratitude than by helping others. There are many opportunities to volunteer in your community, either within formal organizations or simply by helping a neighbor. When you actively seek out opportunities to serve, they will avail themselves.
4. Replace your “don’t haves” with your “do haves”
Every time you catch yourself talking about something you don’t have, be sure to end the sentence with an acknowledgement of something you do have. For example, “I just don’t have the money to fulfil my dream of going on a cruise, but I do have a job and the capability to earn and save up money for a cruise.”
5. Surround yourself with grateful people
There is absolutely no doubt that the type of energy you surround yourself with rubs off on you. If you are constantly exposed to people who complain and focus on the negative aspects of a situation, that energy is very likely to drag you down.
If you can’t entirely remove those people from your life (perhaps they are coworkers or even family members), then do your best to limit the time you spend around them.
6. Make gratitude part of your routine
By including an active expression of gratitude in your daily routine, you can create a grateful mindset rather than having it be something you have to work on. Whether you pick first thing in the morning or around the dinner table at night, schedule a moment to express gratitude. If necessary, set an alarm on your phone to remind you.
7. Turn your verbal gratitude up a notch
Firing off an almost dismissive “thanks” has become quite normal, so taking the time to really express your gratitude in a more detailed way can make all the difference. Next time you are at a restaurant and you feel the person serving you has done a really good job, try expressing that verbally to them in addition to the monetary tip.
8. Notice your smiles
Smiling is such an automatic action that we often don’t recognize what has made us smile. Practice really focusing on the things that make you smile during your day as those are things you need to be grateful for. The mindfulness mindset you practice here is also beneficial in so many other areas of your life and is a form of meditation.
9. Compare both ways
Much of our dissatisfaction comes from comparing ourselves to people who have what we want. If this motivates you to get what you desire, then that’s great, but don’t forget that, for someone, out there, you are the person they want to be. While you are lusting after your friend’s new car, someone else is wishing they had a car.
It Starts at Home: Gratitude in Relationships
Sometimes, it may be easier to express gratitude to strangers than those who are close to us. Our personal relationships are often so deeply knitted into a wide array of other emotions and expectations that showing gratitude to our partners, children, or parents seems pointless (or a case of, “they know, right?”).
Surely they know you appreciate them? Well, the answer to that is not always a resounding “yes.” When we are in daily interaction with a person, it becomes easy to just accept what they do for us as part of the role they play in our lives. We forget they don’t have to do these things.
Learn how gratitude in relationships can help you build stronger relationships:
Showing gratitude can help not just to build stronger relationships but also to save them. Arguments, infidelity, and even break-ups are very often rooted in one party feeling they are taken for granted. This happens very often in long-term relationships as we become comfortable and expectations start seeping in.
Showing gratitude toward your partner can be as simple as acknowledging that the nutritious meal they prepared for you was delicious and that they took the time to create sustenance for you. If you’ve spent many years taking your partner for granted, be prepared for them to be suspicious. Your lack of gratitude has earned you that!
How to Implement Grateful Living: The Gratitude Month
As with any life change, the best way to make a shift is “a little bit at a time.” Split your month up into sections and practice one of our active gratitude suggestions at a time. For example, you could pick two weekends in a month to focus on volunteering in your community, or allocate three consecutive days in which you plan to be mindful about what makes you smile.
You can use your gratitude journal to record your experiences, which will give you a holistic view of your journey at the end of your Gratitude Month.
When professor and author Doctor Brené Brown initiated research into the link between joy and gratitude, her assumption upfront was that if people experienced joy, they would also experience gratitude.
She was surprised to find that the reverse was true more of the time. When people actively practiced gratitude, they were more likely to report being joyful.
In this video, Brown talks about her research and the correlation between joy and gratitude:
What Does Gratitude Do for Us?
As published in the Harvard Mental Health Letter, research into the impact of daily practiced gratitude on emotional and physical health shows that those who make a point of actively expressing gratitude daily have greater emotional resilience and suffer from fewer physical symptoms, like depression and anxiety.
Some other physical symptoms of mental health difficulties that can be improved by practicing gratefulness include:
- Headaches
- Disruptions in the intestinal tract
- Joint and muscle pains
- Insomnia
- Loss of appetite
Sincere displays of gratitude make you stand out as a person. So many people simply take things for granted today that when we come across someone who is truly grateful, we remember them. This is, therefore, a great way to get people to remember you when meeting strangers or going for job interviews.
The Science Behind Gratitude
Researchers into the impact of gratitude on the human psyche focus on a field called Positive Psychology. This area in the study of the human mind contemplates the aspects of life that essentially make it worth living. These aspects include positive experiences, traits, and characteristics.
The crux of this research is to understand what human beings need in order to live positive and fulfilled lives. Positive Psychology also seeks to determine how an absence of these positive factors could impact the psyche, as well as the possible link between gratitude and success.
Find out more about the science of gratitude and positive psychology here:
Research Into Gratitude
As more clinical research is carried out into how gratitude truly impact our lives and emotional health, some surprising results are emerging:
- Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, carried out a study on 411 participants (as cited in the Harvard Mental Health Letter). The focus of the study was to determine how various psychological interventions affected the group, and expression of gratitude was one of several methods he tested.
Participants were asked to write a letter of thanks to an individual who was particularly meaningful in their lives. This method improved happiness scores at a level far exceeding any other intervention he tested and the benefits lasted for months.
- In studies conducted on the impact of consistently expressed gratitude on romantic relationships, it was found that partners in such relationships felt more empowered to express their needs and also felt more positive about their partners.
Positive Psychology lecturer, Prof. Ryan Duffy, expresses his teaching on the importance of gratitude in this TEDx Talk video:
- In a study conducted at the University of Pennsylvania to determine the usefulness of gratitude in improving motivation in the workplace, volunteers were split into two groups. Both groups were asked, on different days, to make telephone calls in order to raise funds for their university.
The first group was set to work after some basic instructions and continued with their duties in an acceptable fashion. The second group was given a pep talk before they started by one of the professors in which they were told how valued their work was and how grateful she was for their efforts. The second group brought in 50% more donations than the first group.
Gratitude Gives Us More to Be Grateful For
Gratitude is one of those vicious circles, except it’s not so vicious as it is wonderful. When you are able to express and feel gratitude, others feel validated and appreciated. In return, they are more likely to want to repay you with service.
Consider whether you would rather help someone who takes you for granted or someone who shows their appreciation for your efforts? My guess is you’d answer “yes” to the former. Therefore, the more you show appreciation, the more you are likely to receive experiences you can be grateful for.
Gratitude is necessary, helpful, and applicable in all areas of our lives, including work, home, with our family and friends, and just in day-to-day situations like at the supermarket or gas station. The more we seek out situations to feel grateful for, the more we will find them.
Gratitude Is a Life Skill
The art of grateful living really is a life skill that helps us to become more emotionally resilient. Emotional resilience helps us to keep going when times are tough.
Gratitude is important not just for our own emotional health but also for the quality of our relationships with those around us. When we feel appreciated, we are far more likely to want to go above and beyond and be even more helpful.
It is a powerful principle to apply in our lives as it leads to us getting more of what we want in life. Its power lies in the simplicity that all you have to do in order to get more gratitude is to recognize and celebrate what you already have. The skill is learned by first growing grateful feelings and then learning how to demonstrate them.
Developing gratitude as a life skill also helps us take note of what is in our lives, before it is gone. All too often, we only acknowledge the importance of something or someone in our lives when it/they are no longer there. Sadly, of course, it is then too late.
Why Gratitude Is More Important Now Than Ever
We live in a world where we have come to expect instant gratification. As a result, mass marketers have drummed into our heads that we deserve certain things and that we should expect them. Unrealistic expectation breeds discontent and, in turn, an attitude of ungratefulness.
This has an extreme effect on our society as a whole. The more we don’t get these things that we have been told we deserve, the less likely we are to want to work for them.
As adults, if we are lucky enough, we can recognize this and work on this attitude in our lives, but we can also help others discover the power of gratitude through our children, those we lead in the community, and at work or simply by being an example to others of how gratitude can make a difference.
Related Questions
Is there a correlation between success and gratitude?
Absolutely. Successful people are generally more grateful for their own achievements as well as more capable of showing gratitude to others. A life journey, which is centered in gratitude, will also ensure you are more likely to find a simpler definition of success and one that doesn’t necessarily revolve around money.
Learn more about the link between success and gratitude in this video:
That said, are there people in the world who are simply incapable of showing or experiencing gratitude?
While the large majority of people are definitely capable of living a grateful life if they set their minds to it, there are certain personality disorders that can impact a person’s ability to express or experience gratitude.
People living with antisocial personality disorder, for example, through their, often, inherent inability to empathize with others, may also find it difficult to see how others are useful or beneficial in their lives. While such people may find it difficult to understand the concept of gratitude, it is still possible for them to learn how to express it, although such expressions will not be heartfelt.