As a response to all the stories on the news about ceaseless conflicts and negativity, more and more people are turning away and looking for something good in the world. We all know that kindness is a good thing, but do you know how to truly be kind?
How can you be kind? Kindness doesn’t have to be complicated. You can be kind by simply being good towards other people. Being kind starts from within and radiates out towards the people around you. There are many ways you can show kindness to others, and the great thing about kindness is that even the smallest of gestures can make a huge impact on the lives of the people around you.
Close your eyes now, and think about the last kind thing you did for someone else. It doesn’t have to have been towards someone you know – you can also show kindness to strangers. Kindness is a beautiful thing that can help heal our world little by little. Read on to learn how you can be kind, as well as a number of breathtaking acts of kindness that you can do for those you love and for those around you.
How can you be kind?
Almost everybody performs a kind deed every once in a while, but does this mean that all of these people are truly kind? No, it doesn’t. For instance, if someone does kind things for those they love but is mean or hurtful to others, this doesn’t make them a kind person. Kindness is more than just doing nice deeds.
If you really want to learn how to be kind, you must learn the fundamentals of kindness. Learn how to become a conscientious observer and an active listener. Develop an empathetic and a sympathetic heart so you will always be willing to lend a helping hand to anyone in need. Being kind also means being sincere and generous. These are the fundamental concepts of kindness. They may sound easy to carry out, but it does require practice to make all of them truly part of who you are.
Of course, being kind doesn’t mean that you must be nice all day, every day. If this were the case, there would probably be no one on the planet who would be considered genuinely kind. We all have bad days which make us feel angry, sad or indifferent, and that is perfectly okay. You can still be kind and allow yourself to feel these things once in a while; in fact, they help you to empathize better with others. When you’re having a bad day, it’s best to focus on yourself. Take some time to be kinder to yourself and find ways to help pull yourself out of the rut that you find yourself in. However, you must also remember to still be as nice as possible to others. No matter how bad you feel, you have no excuse to be mean to those around you.
Here are some guidelines for you, to help you become a kinder person:
- Listen without getting distracted
Unless you are deaf or suffer from some other kind of hearing impairment, hearing should come easy to you. However, hearing and listening are two very different things. In fact, listening is one thing that people often struggle with. Often, when someone is trying to talk to you, there will be other things running through your mind ー such as how you will answer, what things you need to be completed on your to-do list, your own issues, and more. Although you might catch the gist of what the person said, but you are probably too distracted by your own thoughts to actually listen to what the other person says to you.
Whenever you’re in a conversation with another person, try to listen as actively as possible. One way to practice this is to pretend that the other person will quiz you about what they just said, right after they stop talking. This may feel strange at first, but over time you will get used to becoming a true active listener. When you focus on the person and what they are really saying, you are able to bring more to the conversation, especially in terms of how you react and what advice you can give.
- Learn to be more aware of what other people are feeling
When you want to make someone else feel better, either by comforting them or helping them to feel more comfortable, the first thing you must do is learn how to be more aware of what others are feeling. Before even thinking of ways that you can help the other person, you should first learn how to determine if the other person will welcome your help. Pay attention to the person’s facial expressions, body language and gestures, as these will help you see beyond what is obvious on the surface.
It’s difficult to do this when you’re too busy with things in your own life. Some people aren’t able to analyze other people simply because they decide that they don’t want to. These inhibitions hinder you becoming a kinder person and your ability to reach out to those in need. Don’t let these things stand in your way. Make a conscious effort to become aware of those around you, so you can notice who needs help, who may need to hear some kind words, who is struggling with life, and who is doing just fine.
Part of learning how to be kind is to learn how to listen to your own instincts. For instance, if you run into someone and your instinct tells you to approach them and engage with them, listen to that innate feeling and make an effort to reach out. Becoming aware of those around you and trying to understand how they feel will go a long way to improve your efforts to become a kinder and better person. These actions will also make it easier for you to decide what you can do to brighten up the days of those around you.
- Try putting yourself in other people’s shoes
After practicing the skills of listening and observing, it’s time for you to start opening your heart to others. If you want to start feeling empathy and sympathy towards others, you must also feel compassion. Try to internalize the feelings, experiences and thoughts of others, so you can feel both empathetic and sympathetic towards them.
For instance, if you see a homeless woman sitting alone in the cold street and you feel sad for her, this means that you sympathize with her. In the same situation, instead of simply feeling sad for them, try to imagine how the woman feels, what she’s thinking, and try to picture yourself in this woman’s place. In this case, you will be empathizing with her.
Of course, it shouldn’t stop just with empathy and sympathy. If you can do anything to improve the woman’s situation, that would be an even kinder act. For instance, you may give the woman a nice, thick sweater to help keep her warm. You could also buy her a warm meal to tide her over. Remember, no act of kindness is too small. Whenever you see someone in need, who wants to be helped, your efforts to aid them are sure to be appreciated.
- Learn how to be more giving
One of the greatest gifts you can possibly give to others is your time. In this modern world where most people are too focused on their own lives, it can be extremely challenging to commit to setting aside a day, or even some hours, to spend time with or even to be kind to others. Many people, try to compensate for this by giving the people around them material things. Even though these things may be appreciated, people will feel more loved and appreciated when you give your time and attention to them. Giving goes beyond buying material possessions. Focus more on what other people want, not the things you think they need.
One excellent example of giving your time to others is volunteering at shelters and other similar organizations. Commit to spending one day each month helping out the less fortunate. This will not only make those you help feel better, but it will also make you feel happier. In fact, volunteers often end up getting more from what they do than what they give. There are so many people all over the world who need our time, effort and attention. If life has been kind enough to give you a lot of blessings, give back by sharing yourself and those blessings with others. This is sure to place you on the path towards becoming a kinder person.
- Whatever you do, do it sincerely
There is no point in doing kind things for others if you aren’t sincere about them- there is no use pretending, as people will actually be able to tell when you’re not being sincere. Sadly, pretending to be sincere is very common, especially amongst those who just want to be recognized for the “kind acts” that they do. As they perform these acts, at the back of their minds they will be wishing they were doing something else.
No matter what you do on your journey to becoming a kind person, do it with love, sincerity and willingness. Listen actively to others, respond accordingly and offer help when you are able to – and when you genuinely want to. Be honest with yourself and with others.
If something is stopping you from offering help – for example, if you don’t think that what the other person wants you to do will be good for them – explain why you aren’t willing to help out. Don’t force yourself into doing things you don’t want to do, as you might not get the results you want or expect. Even worse, the other person will KNOW that you don’t want to help and won’t be able to appreciate what you’ve done for them.
The above steps are sure to help you to become a kinder person. But aside from these general practices, you can also carry out random acts of kindness to help brighten up the days of those around you…
1. Play “kindness roulette”
Have you ever played roulette? Basically, it’s a game of chance where you bet on a number, spin the wheel and hope for the best. You can tweak this concept a bit and make it into a game called “kindness roulette”. Think of something nice you can do for someone, then pick a person at random. For instance, you could decide to send someone a kind email, so you would pick a person at random from your email contacts list then send them an email detailing how this person inspires you, influences your life or about one of their attributes that you really admire. Just pick a random kind act, then think of a random person. Picking the action first means you are less likely to be biased about the act you pick once you have selected the person to receive your kindness.
2. Give a genuine compliment to someone
People love receiving compliments, especially when they feel that the compliment was given genuinely. You can lift the spirits of other people by giving them a genuine compliment for no reason at all. The more random the situation is, the more pleasantly surprised the person will be.
3. Reply to unsolicited emails once in a while
We have all experienced receiving unsolicited business emails in our inbox. These usually come from strangers who just want to pitch their idea or tell you something of value. More often than not, we delete these emails without even reading them. Instead of pressing the delete button, try replying to some of these emails once in a while. Choose an email at random and write a genuine reply to the person at the other end. Who knows, you might meet a new friend by doing this simple act! A word of caution for this act of kindness though – be careful when replying to emails. Don’t give out any personal or sensitive information. Many emails are genuine, but it is also a platform for scam artists. If the person starts asking for money or asking any inappropriate questions, it’s time to terminate the conversation.
4. Provide encouraging or inspiring words to a person who seems down
Whenever you see someone who seems like they are going through something difficult, don’t just turn your head and walk by. Ask the person if anything is wrong and see how they respond to you. If the person opens up to you, listen. Only after listening should you give your own advice or encouragement to make them feel better. But if the person brushes you off, say something along the lines of, “I’m here whenever you need someone to talk to.” Don’t push the issue; just show the other person that they can approach you if needed.
5. Help the elderly with their chores
As people grow older, weaker and more tired, some chores become more difficult for them. So if you see elderly individuals struggling with anything – like carrying groceries, crossing the street and similar tasks – show them kindness by lending them a helping hand. Helping out people who need it will only take a few minutes, but the person you help will remember your kind deed for a long time.
6. Say “Please” and “Thank You” every day
We teach young children to “say the magic words” all the time but, as adults, we frequently forget to use these words ourselves. Make them a part of your normal vocabulary and use them in conversation. This shows kindness and politeness to other people and makes everyone feel good.
7. Buy coffee for everyone at work
What would it cost you to buy coffee for all of your workmates every once in a while? Providing a cup of coffee for everyone at work is a small and inexpensive gesture, but it is sure to make a huge impression on the people you work with. You don’t have to buy expensive gifts for others to show how much you appreciate them.
8. Help out a friend or family member to give them a break
We all lead busy lives. Just in a single day, we have to do household chores, go to work, pick up the kids from school, and more. Whenever you have free time, offer to help out your friends and family members with their chores to give them a break. This is one of the best things you can do for the ones you love, especially if they feel overwhelmed with everything they need to accomplish each day.
9. Hold the door for someone
If you get into an elevator and, as it’s about to close, you see someone running to catch up with it, be kind to the person by holding the elevator doors open. The same concept goes for when you are entering or exiting buildings or rooms. If someone is following you closely, hold the door open for them to pass before continuing on with your day. This small gesture is sure to put a smile on the person’s face.
10. Pick up litter
This kind gesture may not always be geared directly towards other people, but it will help the environment out in a huge way and also help people to enjoy parks and streets more. Whenever you see litter on the ground, pick it up and place it in the trash can. Hopefully, your efforts will be seen by others who will be inspired to do the same. As more and more people start to practice this simple act, we will be able to make a significant change for the better.
11. Volunteer at your local soup kitchen, orphanage or homeless shelter
These places always need – and welcome – help from those who are willing. One of the noblest acts you can do is to help someone out if you see that they don’t have anything. Volunteering your time and effort for others is a powerful thing and it will be appreciated by countless people, not just those who receive help directly from you.
12. Take time to connect with other people
In this modern day and age, many of us are guilty of spending too much time looking at our smartphones and too little time connecting with those around us. Another random (and rare) act of kindness is to take the time to put your gadgets down and actually talk directly with the people around you. When someone talks to you, put down your phone, make eye contact and have a conversation with them. This isn’t just kind, but this is also just politeness.
13. Practice empathy
Kindness and empathy go together like peanut butter and jelly. Be empathetic to those around you and give them a break if they snap at you or if they’re mean to you. As long as someone isn’t directly attacking you, try to place yourself in the other person’s shoes first before you react. Maybe the person is dealing with a difficult situation which is why they snapped, or maybe they might have been mean towards you because they were feeling bitter about something. There are many reasons why people behave or react the way they do. When you practice empathy, you will be able to understand these behaviours better.
Related Questions
What are the five acts of kindness?
Although it may seem simple, kindness has its own incredible power that makes people feel warm and alive. It provides a sense of purpose and perspective to the giver that cannot be matched by any other act. If you want to incorporate kindness into your own life, start with these five – very simple – acts of kindness:
- Pay it forward.
- Genuinely listen to people when they have something to say.
- Do volunteer work.
- Help someone solve a problem.
- Do a favor for someone without them asking.
Does being kind make you a happier person?
Research has shown that being kind does indeed makes you a happier person. Think about it: what makes you feel happier, when you spend money on something for yourself or when you spend money on someone and you see how happy you made them? Most people would feel more satisfied with the latter. And the more kindness you show to others, the happier you become.
Should kindness only be shown to other people?
Yes, being kind to other people is important. But it’s also important to remember to be kind to animals, plants, and other living things that inhabit this world with us. Just because you’re kind to your fellow people, this doesn’t mean that you have the right to mistreat or abuse animals. Kindness encompasses everyone and everything around the world, so you should also think of ways to show kindness to other species as well.