How Kindness Can Improve Your Life
In a world where bad news is inescapable, it can be challenging to maintain a certain level of kindness towards others. Any day you could open your phone to see a story of how a person treated others poorly. However, what we can’t forget in times where everything seems so negative is the importance of kindness.
If you are kind to someone else, you can improve their life, but how does kindness improve your own life? Kindness can give you a more positive outlook on life and ease your biggest anxieties. It’s scientifically proven that kindness can release good hormones, increase heart health, and help you live longer.
Kindness doesn’t just make your mind feel better, it can have positive physical effects as well. We all want to live a great life on this earth, so any simple action should be taken to help us get the most out of our time here. No small act of kindness is a waste of time, so it’s important that we recognize the power we have with the choices that we make.
The Physical Effects of Kindness
Being kind can have plenty of great effects on your body. You can discover that showing others compassion helps to:
- Regulate your hormones
- Increase heart health
- Decrease stress
- Improve cognitive function
- Boost your immune system
- Reduce inflammation
You might think that you don’t have to worry about this if you’re healthy in other ways, but the table below shows just how damaging anger over kindness can be on your overall health:
| Emotion | Kindness | Anger |
| Heart conditions | Reduces blood pressure | Increases blood pressure |
| Hormonal balance | Boosts serotonin, the feel-good hormone | Boosts cortisol, the stress hormone |
| Stress management | Alleviates social pressure; reduces physical stress | Leads to feelings of being overwhelmed – lack of emotional control |
| Physical pain | Releases endorphins to alleviate stress | Causes tenseness throughout the body and sore muscles |
Being kind isn’t just good for the world. It’s good for what’s going on inside of your body.
Kindness is something that comes naturally to humans. Studying babies and children in general is very important for the world of psychology because we have fresh minds that have not been tainted by society just yet. That’s not to demonize society, but we can’t overlook the way that interacting in this world can affect the way that your brain functions.
When we study children and babies, we pick up the fact that kindness can come more naturally to some. Of course, there are always levels of selfishness present, but the malice isn’t as high as what we might see among older individuals (Tucker, 2013).
Being kind is a choice. You don’t have to be kind. There is no rule or specific law for kindness. Of course, you shouldn’t harm other people and certain things like assault or murder are certainly illegal. However, being rude to somebody else, as long as you are not using hate speech, isn’t something that is always going to be held against you in a legal sense.
Being kind is something you should strive for, but even when you struggle to do so, what’s most important is that we do not use anger on other people. Anger has just as many negative health effects as kindness has good ones (Dartmouth, n.d.). Let’s take a further look at some of the positive effects of kindness.
Hormonal Balance
We have many different hormones in our body that all need to be regulated for the proper function of each system that exists inside of us. When any one of your hormones is out of whack, it can send all of the others spiraling out of control as well. If you want to have overall good health, then it’s essential we start focusing on how to improve our hormonal balance.
When you are kind to others, it actually releases two very important hormones in the body. The first is oxytocin. This is known as the love hormone. It boosts your self-esteem and can also ensure that you have a greater heart health. The other hormone is serotonin. Serotonin is actually like an antidepressant. It can stimulate good feelings within your brain that will help boost your mood.
Calming Your Mind
Kindness releases anxiety, helps you to recover from trauma, and will generally give you a good feeling of happiness. All of these types of hormones are essential for cognitive function. If you have trouble focusing, paying attention, or just living in the moment, it could be that one of these important hormones is out of balance.
When you are kind to others, it can also help to regulate your heart health as your blood pressure will be lowered. Those with high blood pressure put themselves at a greater risk for cardiovascular-related issues.
Reducing Stress
Being kind reduces the stress hormone known as cortisol. This is released whenever we are stressed out. It helps the body prepare for a fight or flight reaction when confronted with the trigger that gives them anxiety. If you are being kind and showing compassion to other people, it will decrease the amount of cortisol that is produced within the body. This will have positive effects on your stress levels. You will be able to see clearer and find the positivity and happiness within your life when you share kindness with other people.
It can help you make connections with other individuals. You can improve your relationships, and therefore, you’ll be able to better keep yourself present in the moment. Too often we are worried about things that have happened in the past or we grow fearful over what might occur in the future.
The more often you do this, the harder it is to really analyze and focus on the proper situation that you’re currently in. When we are not being mindful of the moment, we start to lose out on important time.
Immune System Boost
When you’re able to keep all of your health in check, that will boost your immune system. Your hormones will be balanced, and your energy levels will be higher.
In fact, studies show that individuals who do something kind for other people have a greater sense of self-worth, and that leads to a more energetic feeling. The stronger you are, the easier it will be to fight off infectious diseases or anything else that might be compromising your immune system.
Finally, regulating your hormones and reducing your stress also means that you are lowering the inflammation in your body. Inflammation can have many different negative effects on your health. It could cause digestive issues, for example, or it could be the reason that you have joint pain or stiffness.
The Negative Effects of Anger
Unmanaged anger can be toxic to your body. Whether you’re frustrated that somebody cut you off in traffic or you’re still harboring anger over an individual that hurt you in the past, anger can be affecting your physical health. We all know that being angry isn’t fun. It’s not enjoyable to loathe somebody or resent a certain situation. However, anger is something that naturally occurs inside of us.
What we have to remember about anger is that it is a secondary emotion. This means there is a feeling that happens first that triggers anger later on. Most of the time, anger is a result of anxiety or sadness.
If you feel anxious or stressed over a situation, it can be hard to have emotional control. You might snap at people because you are stressed at work. Maybe you lash out at a friend because they won’t stop talking when you’re trying to focus.
Anger can happen when we are hungry or tired. Sometimes just not having that proper brain function can make us grumpy, which leads to a secondary angry reaction. Anger can also be sadness. You might be feeling lost or even existential when you are struggling to understand a situation and it might be producing sorrow in your mind.
Anger comes naturally as a first response to many people. Anger is something that is unavoidable, but it doesn’t have to be such a strong and violent emotion. You will likely be angry at times in your life.
You don’t have to let this anger be at the forefront of your emotions for the entire day. You can have an angry moment, collect yourself, and move on. You can use that anger for good if you are properly managing it. Anger that gets out of control can lead to outbursts. This usually happens as a result of repressed anger that we haven’t been confronting. When you are hanging on to that anger, it can actually affect your cardiac health.
In fact, with two hours after an angry outburst, you double your chance of having a heart attack, even if you are in good health.
Those who are more prone to show anger and use this as a reaction or have it as a personality trait are actually at double the risk of coronary disease. Anger can also increase your chances of having a stroke. Angry outbursts can lead to blood clots and brain bleeding if we are not properly managing those repressed feelings.
Anger also weakens our immune system. This means that you can catch a cold easier, but it also means that you’re more likely to feel deeper negative side effects to various diseases or other infections. Anger can make anxiety even worse than what might already be present. Anger can also lead to depression. Depression is often referred to as anger that is turned inwards.
Anger can affect your respiratory system. When you are angry, you’re not properly managing your breathing. This can weaken your lungs and it will significantly reduce function.
All of these health problems put you at risk for shortening your life. Not only might you die sooner than individuals who are kind or happier, but you will also be enjoying the life that you do have even less. It’s essential that we recognize these potentially harmful side effects, so that not only do we focus on kindness, but we first focus on reducing these repressed kinds of feelings (Strong, 2015).
Anger isn’t something that you want to stuff down inside of you, because eventually you can burst! For additional anger management tips, check out this informational video:
Anger can teach us more about ourselves. It reminds you of what matters most to you. If you’re angry about someone hurting you, maybe it shows how much you actually love that person. If you’re angry about losing something, it shows you how much you care about keeping that around. When you are angry, don’t shove it down. Instead, use it to learn more about yourself.
Being Kind to Yourself
When it comes to kindness, we also have to remember that we need to show compassion to ourselves. Too often we are our own biggest bully. How many times have you looked in the mirror and told yourself that you didn’t like what you saw?
The worst thing that you have ever been called might have been the names that you have given to yourself. You are better at picking out your own flaws than other people. It’s easy to look in the mirror and see every little imperfection while other people are probably just focused on your smile or your eyes!
We have to start treating ourselves as if we are our own best friend. You are the only person that you will ever be. Why is it okay to be so harsh on yourself?
Kindness is not just reserved for other people. The way that you treat yourself is the way that you will treat others. It all bleeds together and becomes something very natural that can go unnoticed. You might think that being hypercritical is just part of life – but it doesn’t have to be!
To make sure that you are truly being kind to yourself, sometimes it will start with the way that you treat others. They go hand in hand, so as you practice one, it improves your ability to be kind in another sense.
The way that you judge others will reflect on the way that you criticize yourself. It is that same inner critic that will reflect on you and on others. If somebody walks into the room and you judge the way they are dressed that shows you will also put high pressure on the way that you judge your own wardrobe.
This is the same as anger. It’s something natural and you can’t block it out entirely or else it will continue to build until you explode. Being self-critical is important. You don’t want to get to a point where you refuse to acknowledge any of your flaws whatsoever. If you do recognize there’s something or an area in your life that you can work on, of course, try to improve yourself.
You are not perfect, not in this moment and you might not ever be. And that is OK! But none of (acknowledging your flaws) that warrants being rude to yourself. Name calling is not going to do you any good. Be compassionate and show that you do truly care about yourself.
When you recognize a flaw, first acknowledge it and ask yourself if it really is something that you need to improve on or if it’s just part of life. For example, if you look in the mirror and notice that you don’t like the way your nose looks because it’s simply too big, then this might not be something you have to improve on. You might just have to get used to the way that your face is shaped.
If you look in the mirror and notice that you have dry skin and acne, maybe you could start a new skincare regimen. Notice the difference between something that you can change and something that you cannot.
Having blemishes on your skin isn’t even a bad thing, but it is something that could be potentially changed. You’re not going to be able to necessarily change the entire shape of your nose. There is plastic surgery, but some aspects will never be fixed, and we have to just get used to the way that we are. It can also be a risky procedure, not to mention an expensive one.
Confront your inner critic to see where it was born. Is it a voice that a bully from childhood put in your head? Is that the way that your family talk to you? Whose voice is telling you that you are not worthy or that you are not good enough? Which person is sharing these kinds of negative ideas about you with you?
Oftentimes, it’s society that has planted the seeds for this negativity, and you have been watering it.
It’s time to kill those weeds. Those seeds might always be there, and you might always have certain thoughts that aren’t necessarily productive for your self-esteem. What’s important above all else is that we recognize this inner voice and we nurture it with kindness and compassion rather than letting that hatred flourish (Bonvoisin, 2019).
How to Be Kinder
If you’re ever unsure of how you can better enable yourself to show kindness and compassion towards others, get some inspiration from people who do their best to spread love all over the world. Check out this video to see some amazing ways that compassion is shared among various individuals:
There are many other ways that you can begin to increase kindness in the world.
Smile More
The first thing that you can do to be kind to other people is simply to smile.
We know, especially if you are a woman, you’ve probably heard before that you need to smile more.
It is really annoying when somebody else tells you to smile. It almost feels like they are attempting to control your emotions. When men frequently tell women to smile, it might be a way to have control over their appearance. Don’t let anybody else tell you what to do. You are in control of your own feelings. That being said, smiling does have health benefits for you.
It’s not just something that improves society, in general, but it can make you feel better. Smiling can relieve stress. Even looking in the mirror and smiling before you start your day can be enough to boost some good feelings inside of you. Neurotransmitters, like serotonin or dopamine, can help you have a better feeling all day long simply by smiling. Next time you are feeling frustrated or in a bad mood, go into the bathroom, look in the mirror, and simply smile.
Even if it is a fake cheesy smile, you’re still giving your brain that reminder that you are feeling good. It can also help boost your immune system. It reduces stress, and therefore, it helps play into all those other positive benefits of kindness that we discussed in the first section. It lowers your blood pressure, which means that you are at less of a risk for cardiovascular-related issue.
Smiling helps you appear differently to other people as well. Smiling can make you more attractive or makes you look even younger than you are. Smiling helps the environment maintain a certain level of positivity. The key to smiling authentically is also the use of your eyes. Don’t just smile with your cheeks and your teeth. Let your eyes do some of the talking (Stibich, 2019).
Give Compliments
Another way that you can begin to spread more kindness is by giving more compliments. Sometimes, it can be hard because it might make you feel uncomfortable. One of the reasons you might struggle to give out these compliments is because you’re not giving yourself that same kind of attention.
Compliment somebody on their smile. Compliment somebody on their shirt. Tell them that they are unique. When they tell a joke, don’t just laugh, remind them that they’re funny. When they offer a new idea, let them know that they’re intelligent. Compliment the way that they’re driving or the way that they parked their car. Compliment their home and the way that they arranged things.
Always look for ways that you can compliment other people. The more that you compliment yourself, the more natural it will feel to share these kinds of ideas with others.
Small Acts of Kindness
Do kind things that go unnoticed. If you live in an apartment building, take somebody’s packages and place them in front of their door rather than keeping them in the common area. Pick up garbage off the street. Shovel somebody’s driveway when it snows. Take their garbage out to the street when it’s the day for the garbage truck to come and pick up your dumpsters. Leave quarters behind at your laundromat or fill up the meter for a couple more hours after you have finished using a parking space.
Start giving more things away rather than trying to throw them away or even sell them. Look for how you can share memories. For example, books can sometimes be sitting on your shelves for years at a time. Write a little note in your book and hand it to somebody on the street or just leave it on the table at the coffee shop. Keep post-it notes around your house to remind the people that you live with how much you love them. Put something on the mirror that lets them know how beautiful they are. Give them a positive affirmation or a reminder.
Start giving out more good reviews. It’s easier for people to go online and give bad reviews after they’ve had a negative experience, but often we just take the good experiences with us and let that become normal. Do your best to go online and specifically compliment one of the workers. Pay attention to their name tag and let the business know how much you appreciate them. Many cashiers will wait on hundreds of people in a week, but only one might leave a review.
Final Reminders
Be kind to the earth. Plant a tree. Recycle. Stop using so much paper and plastic. Be kind to animals. Spend more time playing with them. Buy them treats and nicer food. Let them know how much they mean to you.
Thank other people more. Don’t just say thank you because it is good manners; thank people because you really appreciate them.
Always say thank you to your servers and to your cashiers or anybody else in the service industry. Say thank you to your family members. Our mothers, grandmothers, fathers, and grandfathers could always use more appreciation. Show unlimited gratitude to your spouses, partners, kids, nieces, and nephews.
Even if they haven’t played an active role in your life, thank them for teaching you and creating the person that you are now. Reach out to friends as well. Let people know that they’re appreciated; buy them gifts without it having to be a celebration or holiday (Random Acts of Kindness, n.d.).
Bake goods for people. Make cupcakes for yourself but make a few extra to hand to your neighbor or a friend at work. Whatever you do, look for how you can give to other people.
Remember: The more kindness that you give out into the world, the more kindness that you’re going to be using on yourself. This is going to help improve your health and give you a generally good feeling and more enjoyment of life.
Related Questions
The way that we treat others is going to greatly affect not just our lives but also the lives of everyone we encounter. It’s a topic that you should continually invest knowledge in, so don’t be afraid to ask more questions such as these!
Is kindness a form of weakness?
Some fear being kind to others because they believe that it will make them appear weak. Kindness can actually be a strength. It shows that you are able to manage your own emotional state for the greater good of the situation. Don’t ever be afraid to be kind because of what others might think of you.
Should I be kind even to those who are mean to me?
It can be especially challenging to be kind to individuals who don’t show the same kind of respect to you. Sometimes, the ruder someone is, the more kindness you can try to show them. Kindness is contagious, so you might be able to change their mood. Your best weapon of all might be the ability to “kill them with kindness.”