Hey, yes you. Thank you for swinging by this blog. You are one step ahead of changing your life for the better and learning how to pay it forward. By choosing to pay it forward, you can make a remarkable difference not only to your own life but to people around you and the environment. Imagine if every person chose to pay it forward, how different the world would be?
Paying it forward means that when somebody expresses kindness to you, you reward their gesture by doing the same for somebody else through good deeds and/or words of encouragement.
Your time and understanding, a smile, a hug, and a “please and thank you” do not cost anything, nor are they an inconvenience.
Know that by making a change, any change, big or small, will positively affect the outcome of somebody or something else. This way of thinking may seem like a modern one as there are a ton more people in need of understanding, but it is not. This concept began way back, think classical Grecian times. The earliest account of the words “pay it forward” was first mentioned in Lily Hardy Hammond’s 1916 book, In the Garden of Delight. You would think we would have aced this way of living by now, but people are in need of it more than ever.
There is an enate want to help others and it is part of who we are. It just got buried under all the other things that make up our life. Think of the excitement of knowingly paying it forward to somebody who was least expecting it. You do not need to reach out to people you know but you can pass on kindness to strangers too; is that not a beautiful thing, to alter somebody’s day for the better?
The movie, Pay It Forward, brought this way of living back into the spotlight; check it out!
There are many pay it forward ideas (and we’ll cover these in just a second). Ultimately, by doing good, you will begin to see the world differently and in more color and complexity. Reaching out and extending your generosity to others will inspire you to do more and live compassionately.
It is worth it; you should give it a go—trust me!
Show Me How
It may seem all so daunting, but it isn’t really. What matters is your commitment to trying.
“Who you are tomorrow, begins with what you do today!” – Tim Fargo
Good Deeds Calendar
Start simple and try this on for size. A good deeds calendar can help you create a healthy, rewarding habit.
| Acts of Kindness | Words of Kindness | |
| Monday | Donate books. | Say “thank you.” |
| Tuesday | Donate clothing. | Say “please.” |
| Wednesday | Donate five dollars to a charity. | Compliment somebody’s outfit. |
| Thursday | Pay for somebody’s meal or drink. | Ask, “May I help you with anything?” |
| Friday | Bake cookies for teachers, nurses, or the elderly in care homes. | Ask “Is there anything you need?” |
| Saturday | Offer to volunteer at an animal shelter or soup kitchen. | Compliment somebody’s eyes or smile. |
| Sunday | Pick up litter in outdoor spaces. | Say “I am proud of you.” |
Size Does Not Matter
Regardless of the size of the gesture, it does not matter if the act is a small one such as a smile or if the act is as grand as paying for someone’s meal. All that matters is that you chose to make a difference.
Give Without Seeking Anything in Return
Give willingly. And if somebody asks how can they return the favor, decline, but leave them a parting gift. They should repay your kindness by doing good for somebody else. It is that simple. Giving and expecting something in return is not truly giving; it should be out of your own free will.
And please, do not take photos of yourself doing something and sharing it with all your followers on social media in order to gain “likes.” Put the mobile phone away, Steve!
The Opportunities to Pay It Forward Are Everywhere
Yes, you heard correctly. They are everywhere. All you have to do is become aware of your surroundings. Perhaps you see somebody struggling with their groceries, lend a hand. See a parking meter that has expired, top it up. It is that simple!
Change the Day or Life of a Complete Stranger
You want me to go and do what now? Yes, you read that correctly and that does not mean you need to welcome them into your home. Consider offering up your seat on the bus, or leave a bigger tip the next time you eat out. You should not be afraid of passing on kindness to strangers or approaching those in need. You may be what alters their life completely.
In this TEDx talk, James Beck undertook a social experiment called SerfBliss. Check out this video on how he lived based on the pay-it-forward system for 12 months:
35 Ideas to Pay It Forward
- Celebrate a bit differently – Ask your friends to donate to your favorite charity instead. You could apply this to any other celebration like Christmas.
- Leave what you are reading – The aim is that you leave your book behind once you have read it. Consider leaving it in a coffee shop or at the bus station. If you feel even more inspired, leave a note for the person who finds your book. Write about what you loved about the book and what you learned from it.
- Skillshare – If you are self-employed, it makes sense why parting with your money can be hard to do. If you are in a position to offer your services free of charge to an individual, then do it. Find the individual who is also starting their own business and who may lack the funds to employ somebody with your skillset.
- Try meat-free Mondays – If you are a meat eater, try and eat strictly vegan or vegetarian on Mondays. It may improve your health, and if you feel up to it, you can begin opting to eat this way more than once a week.
- Say “yes” – The next time somebody asks a favor, you say “yes.” You may not be in a position to solve their problem entirely but helping (and even listening) makes a big difference.
- Shout out to the ones we love! – Next time you grab takeout or make use of a local business’s services, leave a review online encouraging others to make use of their services or products.
- Share in the good vibes – There are many individuals such as yourself who seek to pay it forward and help others. It is important that if a person has changed your life or done something for you to let them know that they made a difference in your life.
- The dollar drop – This is one of the best pay it forward ideas that I have come across. The plan is simple. Tap somebody on the shoulder and tell them that they dropped a dollar. Hand them the dollar (which originally belonged to you). Do not go into detail. Just hand it to them and be on your way. It will make them smile but there will always be that sense of wonder. And that right there is a magical gift to give somebody.
- Donate blood – Though this may not be for the faint-hearted, it really is not as bad as what you may think. One pint can save the lives of up to three people. Find a local blood bank and check-in. The professional staff ensures the process is quick and painless, all the while keeping you comfortable.
- Be polite – Hold the door for somebody. If you find yourself in a queue, allow somebody who is older to take your place.
- Get thrifty – Shop at your local thrift store. The money you spend on clothing or homeware will greatly help those in need.
- Spend your time helping – If there is a cause you are passionate about, find ways in which you can volunteer your time. You may choose to walk shelter dogs or lend a hand at a local soup kitchen.
- Pay it forward – Pay for somebody’s coffee at the counter or pay for somebody’s groceries.
- Mentorship – Get involved with helping to mentor somebody or to help young children learn to read.
- Spread the love – Remember to hug your loved ones hello and goodbye each day. It is important; you may never know how the day will unfold.
- Write a note – Write a card and send it via the post to somebody special. Alternatively, write a note and leave it for the person to find.
- Stick to it – Keep a pen and batch of sticky notes in your bag or pocket. When you find yourself in a public space or bathroom, leave a note of encouragement.
- Environmental warrior – Join community efforts to clean up beaches or public spaces.
- Sharing is caring – Next time you find yourself at the drive-through, purchase a second meal for a homeless person.
- Selfie – If you see a couple or family struggling to take a photo of themselves as a group, offer to take the photo for them.
- Learn to listen – We do not do this enough and we often spend time providing insight and opinion on how to alter things. However, the most supportive we can be is to listen without adding our own two cents.
- Barking mad – Start a donation pool at work. Ask individuals to donate dog or cat food at the end of every month. It could also be clothing, bedding, or canned food for other causes too.
- Smile and the world around you will – Smile and say hello to five strangers a day.
- The good worker – Refill the coffee machine if you see it is empty, pack or unpack the dishwasher, or replace the toner if you see it has run dry.
- Survey time – When asked to complete a survey, take the time to do so. It may make a difference and provide the valuable insight needed to better serve the community.
- Parking perfect – Consider parking further away from a store’s entrance. You never know if the spot may be occupied by somebody who needs it, such as the elderly, a disabled person, an expectant mother, or a person with kids.
- Reconnect – Take the time to reconnect with somebody who was once near and dear to you.
- Babysitting service – Offer to look after a loved one’s children for a day.
- Lifting service – Give a ride to somebody who may not have a car or who has run into some car trouble.
- Pack a spare lunch – Pack a spare school lunch and ask the teacher to hand it to a child who is underprivileged. You could choose to pack a spare lunch and hand it to a homeless person on your way to work too.
- Creating new habits – Next time give somebody the benefit of the doubt even though you are tempted to disagree with them.
- Get crafty – Perhaps you know how to knit or do woodwork. Consider knitting blankets for babies in need. You could even choose to make a bird feeder and put it up somewhere that everyone can enjoy.
- Cakes and bakes – Make a fresh batch of muffins or bake a cake for the teachers at your child’s school or people at the office or local clinic. You may choose to drop it off at a shelter or even at the local fire station. Thank them for all their hard work!
- Be a good neighbor – Ask your neighbor if there is anything you could do for them. Perhaps they need something dropped off or collected.
- Say yes – Embrace the unknown and say yes to new challenges. This allows you to come across even more opportunities to help and pay it forward.
This video will inspire you to pay it forward and give you a few more ideas:
How Do I Encourage Others?
These ideas pay it forward are enlightening, but how do you encourage others to do the same? Good question. Once you begin paying it forward, it becomes such a feel-good habit that we do it more and more. It can also leave us feeling frustrated with those around us who fail to do the same.
A great tip is to use the chain reaction method. This works on strangers too. All you do is scour the internet for pay-it-forward printable cards or create your own. The card should state what you are up to and ask the person whom you have helped to do the same for others, thus, passing the card along and causing a chain reaction.
Time to crank up the old moral elevation. It is a thing you know!? What is it? Ahh, funny you should ask. Well, humans are inclined to feel the emotions of others, good or bad.
People who weren’t part of your acts of kindness but hear of them are able to share in the same feelings they gave you when you share your stories with them. When people absorb your feelings and highs, they are motivated to want to do the same. This neuro-physical connection is ingrained into us as humans.
The next time you find yourself scheduling in time to volunteer at a charity, feel free to extend the invite on to your loved ones. They may feel tempted to come help lend a hand and feel motivated to do more when they see how good it makes them feel to do well by others.
Share that what you are doing is “paying it forward.” The more you share your journey with others, the more people you may positively impact to want to do something in turn for those in need.
Knowing how you can pay it forward can be a great teaching technique for those who are younger than you and for close-knit groups. The theory is simple: when you do good, people around you are inclined to want to do good too. This monkey-see-monkey-do pattern is more common in children as they learn to navigate through life. Acts of kindness and generosity are contagious when large groups perform these tasks continuously.
You Said It Would Change My Life; How?
We all know how it feels when we do something good for somebody else. Somewhere down the line, you did pay it forward and made somebody, unbeknownst, to you happy. Making people happy makes us feel the same way.
The best news yet is that paying it forward can actually improve your well-being. Studies have suggested that it can improve your physical and mental health.
When you choose to be kind and pay it forward, it means that your selflessness and compassion for others take precedence over your own.
Paying it forward, kindness, selflessness, and compassion are all linked to overall contentment and happiness. It’s what pastors, monks, priests, and spiritual leaders preach about. How to achieve joy in one’s life is something we all seem to need a bit more of. Research conducted on Japanese undergraduates showed that individuals who were happier were kinder than those who were unhappy in their life.
The reason that you can feel more content with your life when paying it forward is down to gratitude. When we extend our help, we practice kindness and we also experience interconnectedness with individuals; and thus, it allows us to experience a sense of gratitude. When you choose to reach out to people or help in some way, you contribute positively to society or the environment and you realize that you aren’t alone.
When you choose to follow a path of paying it forward, it:
- Releases feel-good hormones such as oxytocin, which reduces stress and stabilizes our emotional responses.
- It strengthens the bond between people (when oxytocin is released while interacting with individuals).
- Releases serotonin and dopamine when we experience kindness and express compassionate behavior. This allows the body to feel less pain.
- Releases neurochemicals—we experience what is known as “helpers high.”
- Lowers blood pressure.
- Beats depression.
- Boosts your immune system.
- Excellent for cardiovascular health.
- Lessens feelings and symptoms of anxiety.
Practicing humanity is the choice we make to lessen the burdens of those around us. If it means doing a good deed or providing emotional support, it does not matter. What matters the most is that it raises us up spirituality and humanizes us. It also boosts our health and that is a big win!
Humanity, Kindness, Tolerance, and Why They Are More Important Than Ever Before
If you sat down and realistically thought about the world, would all its wonder be surpassed by all the hate and fury that always seems to be playing on repeat? Many would agree that it is very easy to fall into a negative way of thinking, leaving you less inclined to want to spend time paying it forward.
The truth of it is, yes, the world and its problems can seem unbearably depressing but you have the power to change this every day, and gradually, you will begin to see that there is so much beauty and compassion around you, it is mesmerizing. By learning how to pay it forward, you can be part of this magic and be the change in the world that you and so many wish to see.
Practicing humanity, kindness, and tolerance are more important than ever because the world does have issues and because we live in the 21st century. We are subjected to news of all the disarray through TVs, radios, mobile phones, tablets, computers, magazines, and newspapers.
These things are not all that bad; they have served us in staying connected with one another and being up to speed with pressing matters. It has also shaped and manipulated people’s opinions of others and the world and led many to lay judgment and strew hate. This tampers with our ability to remain unified with one another.
When you pay it forward and begin to show kindness, compassion, and tolerance towards people, it is like you are the ruler of your own superpower. The force that it attracts and emits is so strong that it can drastically change your life and the person who you showed kindness too.
Kindness is not something we are all naturally born with; it is a skill that has to be honed. The more we do, the better we become at it. Our past injustices also do not define who we are now or our future. Part of being human is learning from our mistakes, stepping back, and seeing how we caused hurt and then moving forward in a manner that is pure and kind.
The most fundamental way of living a good life is by acting compassionately towards those around you.
Paying it forward can:
- Bring value to a person when they themselves feel undermined and disrespected.
- Show people with cynical mindsets that kindness still exists.
- Encourage them to do the same for others.
- Help ease the problems that an individual may be facing at one particular time.
If this is not encouraging enough, I do not know what else there is to say, except to don your superhero cape and keep at it!
Related Questions and Answers on Everybody’s Lip
Here are some frequently asked questions and answers when it comes to paying it forward.
When is Pay It Forward Day?
Pay It Forward Day is an internationally recognized day that falls on April 28th of each year. It holds no association to any organization, and people from all across the world are allowed to partake in acts of kindness and pay it forward.
How do I teach my kids to pay it forward?
Here are a few pay it forward ideas to help:
- Teach them to recycle – Encourage them to reuse whatever they can.
- Print compliment cards – These are cards with compliments printed on them. You can buy compliment cards on ecommerce sites, like Amazon or you can easily create your own using Canva (for example).
You can look to Pinterest for some inspiration. Simple ideas would be: “You matter.” “You are powerful.” “You are worth it.” “Be good to yourself.” The aim is to hide these notes in lockers or library books for others to find and give them a little pick-me up should they need it.
Now it is time to put together what you have learned and go out into the world and make a difference. Research and studies have shown us how contagious paying it forward can be. It is such an effective social contagion that it can travel through three degrees of separation. That is a brilliant thing, not just for you but for all who call the planet home.
You are a remarkable human being, just the way you are. Acknowledge that wherever you may find yourself on life’s journey that you have the power to change someone’s life for the better!
“Spread love wherever you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier!” – Mother Teresa